An elderly woman walked into the local country church. The friendly usher greeted her at the door and helped her up the flight of steps,  "Where would you like to sit?" he asked politely.

"The front row please," she answered.

"You really don't want to do that," the usher said "The pastor is really boring."

"Do you happen to know who I am?" the woman inquired.

"Do you know who I am?" he asked.

A kindergarten teacher gave her class a "show and tell" assignment.  Each student was instructed to bring in an object to share with the class that represented their religion. The first student got up in front of the class and said, "My name is Benjamin and I am Jewish and this is a Star of David.."

The second student got up in front of the class and said, "My name is Mary. I'm a Catholic and this is a Rosary."

The third student got in up front of the class and said, "My name is Tommy. I am Methodist, and this is a casserole."

A priest, a minister and a guru sat discussing the best positions for prayer, while a telephone repairman worked nearby. 

"Kneeling is definitely the best way to pray," the priest said.

"No," said the minister. "I get the best results standing with my hands outstretched to Heaven."

"You're both wrong," the guru said. "The most effective prayer position is lying down on the floor."

The repairman could contain himself no longer. "Hey, fellas," he interrupted. "The best prayin' I ever did was when I was hangin' upside down from a telephone pole."

A well-worn one-dollar bill and a similarly distressed twenty-dollar bill arrived at a Federal Reserve Bank to be retired. As they moved along the conveyor belt to be burned, they struck up a conversation.  The twenty-dollar bill reminisced about its travels all over the country.

"I've had a pretty good life," the twenty proclaimed. "Why I've been to Las Vegas and Atlantic City , the finest restaurants in New York , performances on Broadway, and even a cruise to the Caribbean "

"Wow!" said the one-dollar bill. "You've really had an exciting life!"

"So tell me," says the twenty, "where have you been throughout your lifetime?"

The one dollar bill replies, "Oh, I've been to the Methodist Church , the Baptist Church , the Lutheran Church ."

The twenty-dollar bill interrupts, "What's a church?"

The young couple invited their elderly pastor for Sunday dinner. While they were in the kitchen preparing the meal, the minister asked their son what they were having. "Goat," the little boy replied.

"Goat?" replied the startled man of the cloth, "Are you sure about that?"

"Yep," said the youngster. "I heard Dad say to Mom, 'Today is just as good as any to have the old goat for dinner."